CONFESSIONS OF A STARBUCKS PASTOR

There was a cop show on TV when I was a kid called Dragnet . The main cop did not display any emotion as he walked the audience through re-enactments of a real LAPD crime. His face was neutral. When the interview subjects started to ramble, he would dryly state, "Just the facts, ma'am." In my master's work in mental health, I am obtaining additional training and certification so that I can provide the best care possible once I am set loose. My most recent certification focused on the facts as a method for de-escalating a mind gone wild with anxiety. Here's how it works in the most basic manner. There needs to be a balance between thinking about the reasoning and being totally emotional. Somewhere in the middle lies the goal to aim for when trying to live wisely . When you get overloaded on either side, you lose perspective and anxiety triggers. Are you with me so far? Good. We aim to keep things in control. So, how does that work, you ask? When you fir...

As part of course requirements to obtain a masters in marriage and family therapy in my graduate school program, we have to show how we integrate our faith into what we are learning. Woven into this aspect this semester, we are asked to keep a journal about what we notice. We are practicing not bringing in judgements. Judgements, you say? I am not judging anyone! HA! This will be a piece of cake for me!  I have learned not to celebrate so quickly. It's broader than that. And not only aren't we supposed to judge, we are supposed to remain fully present without inserting our judgment. And no, that doesn't mean to sit on your hands like in the final round on the Pyramid game show. Judgement also relates to our pre-conceived notions that are such a part of us we don't even stop to realize we have them. They are based on our personal experience. When my girl was 2, we were having burgers in a fast food chain. She looked around and gasped, "Mommy!! Those people fo...

While the world is searching for life's answers on Instagram, in books and videos I have discovered it and it doesn't cost a membership nor do you have to click continue in order to find out. Putting your faith in a separate category (because I believe we humans were created to have a relationship with God) and considering that as foundational, the secret to operating in life successfully as a sane, healthy person is called OBJECTIVITY. That's it. One word, one simple thought. But as we talk, we'll all agree it is more difficult that it sounds. Through multiple cross-country moves and careers I have met thousands of people of all sizes, shapes, colors and ages. My data isn't sophisticated but my observations are solid. Whenever someone is having a bad life, a bad day or is stuck the answer is one of two things. Either they are a child and can only see things as how they impact them, or they are an adult who has not learned how to see things beyond the way they i...