Our "Whole New World"

Since I last had time to blog (nearly 17 months ago), the world has completely changed. Forget my completed master's degree and once-robust therapy practice. It's all virtual and solitary now. I'm sitting in my at-home office doing case notes and a UPS truck drove by. One of the 20 delivery trucks to visit our short street of 8 houses just today. The child in me began to wonder about a world where the people freest to roam about are the "bringers" - the people brave enough to expose themselves (and their families) so we can sit at home and wonder if the grocery order will or won't include bananas. Or, in my case, deliver 4 bunches instead of the 4 ordered. Much to my surprise, I noted that my last blog post from 2018 was also about delivery, but from a mindset of freedom from our former way of living.

No one knows how long this new way of living/adjusting/coping will last, and no one got to choose it. Suddenly, every family in north America has been forced to school at home with curriculum they didn't choose at a time they didn't choose while having to keep working as best they can to provide for the family (if they are fortunate enough to be able to continue work from home). Some of the schools have required times students must be online - if there are multiple children in a household this further burdens parents with equipment, platforms connections and preparation, not to mention cloning themselves to be there for each kid. And this is the best case scenario.

I can only imagine a fraction of what life is like for our front-lines workers because of what some of my clients share. Their days start and end with anxiety and exposure. Those in the medical field are experiencing daily traumas. People are giving birth and dying alone - something as a culture we thought we had evolved well beyond. We're forced to see humanity in all its layers on top of trying to keep our loved ones safe and put one foot in front of the other.

In many ways, all of the social, economic and technological advancements have abruptly been set aside as the planet has been forced to a stand-still. In that new quiet, while we face unknowns and fears, we are also seeing some beautiful hope sprouting among the shock and despair. Aren't you impressed with the swiftness so many industries have been able to adapt to new methods and meet new needs? From schools and restaurants to entertainment? We're re-defining who a hero is. Before all of this started, a barista was only valued because they handed off our "necessary" caffeine fix in a cup. The UPS driver was bringing something fun from Amazon. The long haul driver was doing their job. Now, anyone who is helping others during this time is a hero for being there, and a hero for risking their health in order to keep things moving.

Since we are living in a world of uncertainty and loss of control, anxiety has the opportunity to flourish. Some things that I have discussed with my clients is the importance of increasing things we can control in our new everyday lives. We can control when we eat, sleep and groom. We can definitely control our social media and news intake. We can control the thoughts, sounds and images we allow to enter our beings. We can control what we wear or don't wear. Spending some time reminding ourselves about what we can control is worthwhile because control counteracts anxiety.

Another thing I like to suggest to clients with anxiety is that they intentionally do things with a beginning and an end as a way to provide a sense of accomplishment and completion - something absent during times where we are waiting to see how something unfolds. This can be as simple as sweeping a floor, knitting a row, folding the laundry or reading an article.

This is the time to be very intentional about our self-care and the voice we use. We're living in close quarters and if you thought you misunderstood texts before, be extra careful about how you are communicating. A good way to express yourself (especially now) is to use "I" statements. It puts the weight of what we're saying on our shoulders and minimizes potential for misunderstanding. Not one of us has lived in this world this way before. Remembering this can take the pressure off of having to know what to do.

All of these suggestions are meant to insert themselves into our unconscious and provide some structure and comfort in daily living that has changed dramatically. One of my clients bemoaned the fact that there wasn't a handbook to refer to. We're writing it together. Let's keep this in mind. Be well blog readers! I intend to be more present again.