They Prayed So Stop Judging You Other Sinner You

The hot topic trending on social media this week is the scoop about a ginormous reality family television show that has been a cable network staple for over a decade. They have so many kids they could form two baseball teams. The family is well-known as being Christian and clean cut.

News was leaked that their eldest son as a young teen had sexually abused five young girls some ten years ago. Four being his sisters. Said son is now married with three kids of his own and another on the way. He states that he was wrong, has asked for forgiveness and even stepped down from a prominent public job in a Christian organization once the story broke. As a result of all the negative press, the network has now cancelled the family show.

When his sister reported his molestation to his father, dad reported him to the police. Stories have surfaced on the various ways the family responded, where the teen was sent following his confession and how he was not legally charged. Over and over it has been stressed that he sought forgiveness and had completely repented ("owned") his "mistakes".

Social media comments have gone wild. Posts are divided. They are either quoting Bible verses about forgiveness and not judging, reminding us that we are all sinners, too -- or blasting that pedophiles damage children for life. An evangelist and 2016 presidential candidate posted that the son has been forgiven and he stands with the family. I promptly unsubscribed to his almost daily emails.

Why?

Because the glib "he-prayed-so-it's-over" comment is what I believe has given Christianity a bad name.

How dare I say the basic tenet of the faith - prayer - gives Christianity a bad name??

I think that word is tossed around too freely - just like taking the Lord's name in vain. How often do you hear someone at their wit's end moan "all we can do is pray..." No!! The best thing we can do is to pray! Prayer is indeed the most powerful way to connect with God and often a mystery, depending on where you have or have not gone to church.

The reason I am disturbed about the idea about sweeping a teen boy's "mistake" under the rug and saying all sin is equal is that all sin has unequal consequences. I absolutely agree that people must own their acts and seek forgiveness and restitution. That is not my issue. It's the consequences that I care about.

Example: A teen girl gets pregnant. Then she is sorry and admits she did the wrong thing. She gives birth and adopts the baby out - or not. Either way, this forgiven girl is still a teen parent facing the ramificaitons of what childbirth means. She has lost her innocence even if she gives the baby to an adult family. She will surely struggle if her family encourages her to raise the baby. No matter what, she no longer has anything in common with the majority of her peers. And yes, her parents and God have forgiven her - but reality is still something she faces as a consequence of her forgiven actions. She is now a child raising a child, a very stressful challenge. I know one family that decided their daughter should keep the baby, who was born blind. Talk about challenges.

Not looking twice before making a turn is a mistake. Adding wrong is a mistake. Showing up a day early for your hair appointment is a mistake. Molestation is not a "mistake", it is an illegal and immoral act commited knowingly and forced upon another human being. It's wonderful that the afforementioned son has admitted his acts and has asked for forgiveness. I have no doubt God has forgiven him, and according to his story so have all five girls. Good.

That does not change the innocence lost by his victims. That does not change the mind-haunts they might have in spite of forgiving him. Only with God does forgiveness remove the offense as far as the east is from the west. In the human world, human minds prevail regardless of their spiritual condition.  Over the years I have worked with countless adults victimized as children who stuggle to put all the pieces in place. They have been emotionally cripled as a result of the act of someone older who took advantage of them.

Does that mean the perpetrator hasn't been forgiven? Does that mean I wouldn't sit in a room with them? No. It means that acts of attrocity reap vile results. Even if the causer is legitimately repentant, it does not erase what really happened. It did. The evangelical tone is that everything is now erased and forgiven so quit bringing this up is misguided. There really is no such thing as a moral annulment.

The mistake in this thinking is that what is forgiven is not forgotten and in the case of sexual abuse, indeed has lifelong impact. And yup, I believe that the victims as well as the abusers need God's mercy every waking moment.