The Precious Commodity of Time

When you go online, are you as bombarded as I am with all of the "new" planners and goal-setting journals available this year? It seems like every week an ad targets me about the one I absolutely must have in order to set, monitor and accomplish my goals. (Full disclosure: I recently did purchase a really nifty one, but it wasn't from any ad. It was discovered as I sat next to one of my cohorts and drooled.)

Everywhere we look, we are reminded about time. Isn't there a mortgage broker on every corner with a neon sign ticking away the time and temp? Cable shows do countdowns until the next marathon starts. Our smart phones can even tell us to hurry up and read the latest text. Of course there's a clock in the upper right hand corner of our laptops. We really don't need wall clocks anymore.  Well, if you don't watch TV or stare at your phone much, you might. But we really, really don't need watches. They are just bracelets. I stopped wearing a watch about ten years ago because there were either clocks everywhere I went, or someone next to me was wearing a watch or staring at their phone.

Just because I don't wear a watch doesn't mean I don't value time. I do. In fact, I set the clock in my car a few minutes fast so that I run more or less close to being "on time". Even though I know I have a buffer, I still pretend that the fast time is real time. That's being careless with time, isn't it? It's like I am taking time for granted. In the traveling-to-appointment sense, I am.

But in the bigger sense, I'm not. Time is the great leveler of all people. It doesn't matter what land we live in, what we believe in, what we do for a living or the color of our skin. We are all given 24 hours a day, period. Granted, depending on how we attach value to our perception of time will direct how we view and use our time. But that doesn't change the fact that 24 hours is 24 hours. There's no setting the clock forward or backward on the clock of Real Life.

Sometimes I wish I could set the clock back to when my kids were three years old and just walk hand-in-hand with them one more time. When my mom got her terminal cancer diagnosis, I wished it would take years and years until she died. But it didn't. When we're having such a glorious vacation, don't we wish time would just inch along before we head back to our responsibilities? And oh boy, when I am doing something I do not enjoy do I ever wish time would pass at supersonic speed. Get this dental appointment over, fast!! But then, sometimes when I am wishing away time I stop and think about families treasuring each minute of a loved one's final moments and I feel ungrateful. Time is the exact same for each one of us. When I start to wish away precious time, now I try to remind myself to think of those amazing moments I've wished could last for hours and regard all time as precious. I'm trying to ignore temptations to think in terms like "I have ten minutes to kill", or "a half hour to waste", etc.

It's also the one thing that the North American culture pretends doesn't exist. And it is also the reason I believe every person needs to raise their consideration of someone else's time. We've all been in waiting rooms on "doctor time". Remember that you have your time, too. You don't have to accept hours of waiting for an appointment that is running more than 15 minutes behind. Businesses: it's free to acknowledge someone waiting in line for your service with a quick smile or mention you will get to them after the other one. It barely takes a few seconds to tell someone "thank you", or offer a  hug if someone likes that kind of thing.

And what about emptying the dishwasher? When our girl was in middle school, her protests lasted longer that the time it took to complete the job. I timed it. It only takes 1 minute 58 seconds. Not even worth the whine. I would shrug and leave the room. Not gonna get pulled into a ten minute game for that. She lost her gusto when I informed her how much time she was using up.

North Americans take other people's time for granted. Their priceless commodity. They completely shut off the idea that other people have valuable time, too. They might think people matter. But do they think our time does, too? Or, are they just thinking in generalities and forgetting individuals?

I attended a meeting a few months ago where the presenters used the first 15 minutes to make the photocopies and tease each other. They weren't ready, yet we had appeared on time. What about the people you are talking with who say "just a minute?!" because they simply have to reply to an incoming text or call? Or the people who hold up a gathering's official start because so-and-so isn't here yet? How about starting on time and so-and-so can mosey in late without imposing on the rest of us? Remember Call Waiting? I had one friend who continually told me to hold on while she checked that call. It only took one 20-minute hold for me to decide I wasn't going to agree to that again.

Another time trap comes in the form of the email notifications you did not ask to receive. It seems as if all you have to do is look at something online and bam! You get chatting email reminders about more of them. And heaven help you if  you ordered it! I am getting weekly emails from a datebook company that I bought a yearly planner from. Why would I want another calendar this year???? In order to unsubscribe, I have to find the faint print at the bottom of the page and click. Then I had to answer a number of questions. The really big time bandits redirect me to other sites so many times I can't even find a place to tell them to get out of my life and leave me alone. Or, they tell me to create a password to close my account that I never asked for?? Somehow, these people are getting money for clogging (ruining) our inboxes by making it take more of OUR TIME to figure out how to stop their invasions. I found an app that took away most of this problem for about a year. Then I made the mistake of buying a new phone and somehow, all of the old guys are back ten-fold every day. I don't know why and I am not going to waste my time trying to figure that out. I'm just going to finally create a new email account that I will never use. That will solve that.

I picture people in business-generation mode sitting around coffee shops mulling over ways to impose on our time in order to generate revenue and make profits. They've stumbled onto something, but they are treating us as pawns in the process. Do not remind me that you are out there. I will come and find you if I need you or my friends will recommend you. Leave my time alone. Don't give me a project when I didn't ask for one in the first place!!

All of these scenarios share one thing in common: our time didn't really matter to someone else. Will you join me in valuing your own time and expecting nothing less for others? It's empowering to decide when some nuisance thing may or may not fit in with your schedule. And the best thing of all? You make the statement with your best smile and kindest, most confident voice. Two other things missing in North America.