I Can Tell By The Way You Drive
Yes, I can tell what your temperment is by the way you drive. I can tell what your personality is and how self-focused you are. I can tell all of this merely by being in traffic with you.
In my current position, I am on the road at least 3-4 hours each day. The last time I drove this much it was just to and from in good ol' California traffic and a way of life for all Golden State residents. Now, it is because I go to my clients (they don't come to me) so I drive in spurts at different times of the day and in a variety of directions.
I travel on side roads, freeways, highways and frontage roads. I drive across bridges, railroad tracks and unpaved roads. I go downtown, to remote locations and to main street. Sometimes there is road construction or bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. Sometimes there is hardly anyone on the road with me. It varies all the time. The only thing certain is that I don't want to be driving north anywhere on a Friday afternoon. (Where we live, so many people have a cabin "up north" that's where they head - every Friday.) I drive along with mom vans, pickup trucks, semis and cars of all makes and models. Sometimes a kayak is strapped to the roof, sometimes a hunted deer is being hauled in a trailer. I drive every day of the week.
It is with this pedigree that I therefore proclaim I can yes-indeedy tell who you are by how you behave when you are behind the wheel:
The Distracted. That's the person on their cell phone (or on speaker). That means they will drive about 7 miles under the speed limit and forget to use their turn signals. You don't want to be behind them - especially if you see them using hand gestures as they talk. They will hold you up and cause you to hit more lights. Or, when you finally pass them you'll merely be behind someone who can't apply pressure to their gas pedal correctly. They are a serious impediment.
The Overly Careful. You know her. When she is not driving, she's busy making sure everything is in order and categorized. She's so busy recording things she doesn't have time to enjoy them. You will know you're behind her when you see a car braking right before every green light - just in case the light might turn amber. Get away, get far away. This unsafe driver's "caution" will cause accidents.
The Beast. This is the guy in a ball cap driving a jumbo pickup truck. Or, should I say "roaring" in a pickup truck? His eyeballs are screwed in backwards so he can only see and think of himself. Unfortunately, he comes in all ages and sizes but is never a female. His only care is for where he wants to be and anyone in front of him is in his way. Anyone in another lane who might merge into his lane is also fair game for displaying his tallest finger, honking his horn and yelling out his window. He goes a minimum of 10 miles over the speed limit - especially in heavy snow with icy roads - and expects all others to bow to his uh "bravery".
The Lane-Popper. Also known as "Accident-Causer". This person suddenly remembers where they were going and needs to get in the proper lane - immediately. They can barge into the next lane at any speed and cause all cars around them to slam on their brakes as the driver's heart rate tripples. Sometimes this driver is gleeful about their ability to "control" so many others. Other times this type is merely proud to have their mission accomplished with no thought to those left quaking.
The Slug. This person has "the slows" and cannot readily find their gas pedal. When the light turns green, they think that through before agreeing it is time to go. They never reach full speed and believe they are saving gas. They are especially enjoyable to be behind in a parking lot or when they stop outside the front entrance of a store to pick someone up.
The Turn Signal Impaired. Sadly, this person was not paying attention in Driver's Ed when the concept of the turn signal was introduced. Perhaps they were chewing their gum too loudly and did not hear the instructor say that turn signals are to be used 200 feet before you plan to make a turn in order to let fellow drivers know what you intend to do - not what you have already started to do after slamming on the brakes first.
The Car Snob. I don't see them so much where I live now, but they are regulars on California freeways. Their high-end cars sport vanity plates and they own the road. Even if they are 20 car lengths behind you in the other lane, when you flick your turn signal on (because you need to exit up ahead) they will suddenly jet-propel in an atempt to "block" your move. Don't back down! Assert your move and these guys will shrink back when they see you can't be intimidated.
The Friend. This is the person so busy talking to their fellow passenger they fail to pay attention to the traffic flow or road signs. Move away as soon as you realize they are in front of you or you will be 10 minutes late.
The Rubber-Necker. This guy scares me. You see them mostly on the lower speed limit roads. They don't drive very fast and sometimes drift into other lanes. Rather than focusing on the road ahead, they are fascinated with everything to the left or the right. Their heads swivel from side to side and keep moving. Was that a hill? Look at that tree. Look twice. Is it still there as they pass it? Better confirm.
The Intimidator. That's the cop who follows you - just in case you might err. They like to do that for several miles to assert their power. Especially on county back roads. Show them what a great driver you are by going 3-5 miles per hour below the speed limit.
The Shy One. This list would not be complete without a nod to the person who is just not sure where it is they want to go today. They put their turn signals on, then change their mind. They slow down for no reason, then realize that is not the right road. They are specialists at applying their brakes and can't figure out what to order at restaurants.
Yes, I have noticed there aren't any positive attribute drivers on my list. That is because the people out there who recognize others on the road aren't the problem. Those who are so busy with their angst or issues are. I am all for giving out "Citizen Citations". And don't even get me started on the Parking Lot Violators!
In my current position, I am on the road at least 3-4 hours each day. The last time I drove this much it was just to and from in good ol' California traffic and a way of life for all Golden State residents. Now, it is because I go to my clients (they don't come to me) so I drive in spurts at different times of the day and in a variety of directions.
I travel on side roads, freeways, highways and frontage roads. I drive across bridges, railroad tracks and unpaved roads. I go downtown, to remote locations and to main street. Sometimes there is road construction or bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. Sometimes there is hardly anyone on the road with me. It varies all the time. The only thing certain is that I don't want to be driving north anywhere on a Friday afternoon. (Where we live, so many people have a cabin "up north" that's where they head - every Friday.) I drive along with mom vans, pickup trucks, semis and cars of all makes and models. Sometimes a kayak is strapped to the roof, sometimes a hunted deer is being hauled in a trailer. I drive every day of the week.
It is with this pedigree that I therefore proclaim I can yes-indeedy tell who you are by how you behave when you are behind the wheel:
The Distracted. That's the person on their cell phone (or on speaker). That means they will drive about 7 miles under the speed limit and forget to use their turn signals. You don't want to be behind them - especially if you see them using hand gestures as they talk. They will hold you up and cause you to hit more lights. Or, when you finally pass them you'll merely be behind someone who can't apply pressure to their gas pedal correctly. They are a serious impediment.
The Overly Careful. You know her. When she is not driving, she's busy making sure everything is in order and categorized. She's so busy recording things she doesn't have time to enjoy them. You will know you're behind her when you see a car braking right before every green light - just in case the light might turn amber. Get away, get far away. This unsafe driver's "caution" will cause accidents.
The Beast. This is the guy in a ball cap driving a jumbo pickup truck. Or, should I say "roaring" in a pickup truck? His eyeballs are screwed in backwards so he can only see and think of himself. Unfortunately, he comes in all ages and sizes but is never a female. His only care is for where he wants to be and anyone in front of him is in his way. Anyone in another lane who might merge into his lane is also fair game for displaying his tallest finger, honking his horn and yelling out his window. He goes a minimum of 10 miles over the speed limit - especially in heavy snow with icy roads - and expects all others to bow to his uh "bravery".
The Lane-Popper. Also known as "Accident-Causer". This person suddenly remembers where they were going and needs to get in the proper lane - immediately. They can barge into the next lane at any speed and cause all cars around them to slam on their brakes as the driver's heart rate tripples. Sometimes this driver is gleeful about their ability to "control" so many others. Other times this type is merely proud to have their mission accomplished with no thought to those left quaking.
The Slug. This person has "the slows" and cannot readily find their gas pedal. When the light turns green, they think that through before agreeing it is time to go. They never reach full speed and believe they are saving gas. They are especially enjoyable to be behind in a parking lot or when they stop outside the front entrance of a store to pick someone up.
The Turn Signal Impaired. Sadly, this person was not paying attention in Driver's Ed when the concept of the turn signal was introduced. Perhaps they were chewing their gum too loudly and did not hear the instructor say that turn signals are to be used 200 feet before you plan to make a turn in order to let fellow drivers know what you intend to do - not what you have already started to do after slamming on the brakes first.
The Car Snob. I don't see them so much where I live now, but they are regulars on California freeways. Their high-end cars sport vanity plates and they own the road. Even if they are 20 car lengths behind you in the other lane, when you flick your turn signal on (because you need to exit up ahead) they will suddenly jet-propel in an atempt to "block" your move. Don't back down! Assert your move and these guys will shrink back when they see you can't be intimidated.
The Friend. This is the person so busy talking to their fellow passenger they fail to pay attention to the traffic flow or road signs. Move away as soon as you realize they are in front of you or you will be 10 minutes late.
The Rubber-Necker. This guy scares me. You see them mostly on the lower speed limit roads. They don't drive very fast and sometimes drift into other lanes. Rather than focusing on the road ahead, they are fascinated with everything to the left or the right. Their heads swivel from side to side and keep moving. Was that a hill? Look at that tree. Look twice. Is it still there as they pass it? Better confirm.
The Intimidator. That's the cop who follows you - just in case you might err. They like to do that for several miles to assert their power. Especially on county back roads. Show them what a great driver you are by going 3-5 miles per hour below the speed limit.
The Shy One. This list would not be complete without a nod to the person who is just not sure where it is they want to go today. They put their turn signals on, then change their mind. They slow down for no reason, then realize that is not the right road. They are specialists at applying their brakes and can't figure out what to order at restaurants.
Yes, I have noticed there aren't any positive attribute drivers on my list. That is because the people out there who recognize others on the road aren't the problem. Those who are so busy with their angst or issues are. I am all for giving out "Citizen Citations". And don't even get me started on the Parking Lot Violators!
Comments
Post a Comment