The Other Americans
Do you observe what is marketed online, TV, radio, billboards and in store displays? I know the ads are there and glance - rarely intrigued - but as a person with a sociologist's heart, I often pause to see what's trending.
There are all those commercials for the pills your doctor is too ignorant to know about but savvy you can learn about in 60 seconds to fix things you never knew were wrong. Don't worry that the side effects are often worse than what you just discovered you had and the list always includes headache, nausea and death.
My favorites are the ones about everyday life. Those luxury car ads that show the life everyone wants to have with built-in everything to enjoy while cruising along the golden highway. It's either the perfect couple in the car, or the perfect parents with the perfect kids. What about the diet commercials that show the before and after photos that tell you that you can do it too - with their program. There's even the one with the dad sneaking the kid's healthy cereal or the husband updating the family PC while the wife runs errands. It seems like there are few different ads set in cubicle-packed offices where well-dressed workers are figuring out what to have for lunch or how to ship something. You get the idea.
Lately, I have been observing what the media is promoting through the eyes of my clients and have realized that Madison Avenue focuses on the Americans who do not need government help.
The difference between these two worlds is as wide as the Pacific Ocean. In these commercials, "normal" is having a job, wanting a nicer car and paying to diet and look more beautiful. There is a huge "other" audience out there that isn't even watching TV that has come to adjust to their own "normal". They would like a job, their car doesn't work or they don't have money for gas and what food money they have is carefully meted out to feed many mouths.
In my current role, I work with people who need hope and a voice of reason in their lives. They are bombarded with government paperwork and strict guidelines for their rehabilitation. Many times they are lost in the trap of red tape and sea of forms that enter a vortex never to return. The current system forces them to chase their proverbial tails rather than take steps to change their situation. All of them start out overwhelmed and overburdened, and none of them have disposable cash.
Few of them dream or hope, they are in survival mode and subject to the help of other agencies and people in order to sometimes even go to the store. People that have been raised in stable families with regular income and warm homes have minds that can wander and dream more easily as they don't have any obstacles to address first. Maybe their parents got divorced and the kids had to go back and forth and it was stressful. But they didn't live with a bunch of half-siblings, each with a different father because marriage wasn't even a consideration, and have to worry what to do when dad gets out of prison this time. No matter how much back child support is owed, when it isn't paid that's a big fat nothing. "Nothing" won't help pay the cable bill so that will get shut off. Again.
Why not throw some special needs kids into the mix? How can these parents practice the parenting techniques we talk about when their needs are far greater than curbing a snotty attitude or teaching chores? Some of this is hard-wired and can't be cured. Instead these frustrated and overwhelmed parents have to do what it takes to help their kid manage what they've got. Sometimes they even dare to hope their kid would be welcomed back into a standard public school and not have to go to the other one. These parents have to learn how to deal with all of their children without making the special needs rule the house. The siblings see who gets the attention and know why, but deep down they'd like some, too.
Speaking of school - some of these people have kids who won't go to school, or fake it. Only when they get a truancy letter do they find out their teen has been lying about being online for class or just not walking into the classroom. The reason? They didn't feel like it. These kids do not know how to see a future and live moment by moment. Their boredom or their impulse rules. Right now it would be fun to rob a store. Right now it would be cool to drink. Right now that other kid wants sex with them. When the repercussions follow, they are bewildered and unable to handle it.
In that regard, all parents have something in common. If you do "A" and "B" results, you learn "C" and must deal with that. Much easier for a kid to learn that not studying for a test gets a low grade so they should study next time than for a kid to learn that breaking into a store gets an arrest and a felony on their record so the future is now just that much more unwelcoming and complicated.
None of my clients can relate to the normalized life in TV commercials or even the far fetched lives in dramas or sitcoms. There are things like phones, washing machines and some level of routine. People are going through daily dramas and plan events.
Statistics tell us that 49% of Americans depend upon the government for some form of financial assistance. Madison Avenue focuses on the other 51% lucky enough to choose for themselves. When Hollywood does focus on the forty-niners, it's a movie by Spike Lee that just reinforces despair.
Isn't it easier sometimes to understand a different way of life when it's located in a whole other country? But this is the other America, the one no one talks about but politicians selfishly target for votes. Shame on them for keeping these people in perpetual spin. Rather than continue to throw money at this huge problem (and believe me it's a lot harder to receive the funds than you think), why don't we roll our sleeves up and create an entirely new approach that actually helps the forty-niners gain dignity and control over their lives?
There are all those commercials for the pills your doctor is too ignorant to know about but savvy you can learn about in 60 seconds to fix things you never knew were wrong. Don't worry that the side effects are often worse than what you just discovered you had and the list always includes headache, nausea and death.
My favorites are the ones about everyday life. Those luxury car ads that show the life everyone wants to have with built-in everything to enjoy while cruising along the golden highway. It's either the perfect couple in the car, or the perfect parents with the perfect kids. What about the diet commercials that show the before and after photos that tell you that you can do it too - with their program. There's even the one with the dad sneaking the kid's healthy cereal or the husband updating the family PC while the wife runs errands. It seems like there are few different ads set in cubicle-packed offices where well-dressed workers are figuring out what to have for lunch or how to ship something. You get the idea.
Lately, I have been observing what the media is promoting through the eyes of my clients and have realized that Madison Avenue focuses on the Americans who do not need government help.
The difference between these two worlds is as wide as the Pacific Ocean. In these commercials, "normal" is having a job, wanting a nicer car and paying to diet and look more beautiful. There is a huge "other" audience out there that isn't even watching TV that has come to adjust to their own "normal". They would like a job, their car doesn't work or they don't have money for gas and what food money they have is carefully meted out to feed many mouths.
In my current role, I work with people who need hope and a voice of reason in their lives. They are bombarded with government paperwork and strict guidelines for their rehabilitation. Many times they are lost in the trap of red tape and sea of forms that enter a vortex never to return. The current system forces them to chase their proverbial tails rather than take steps to change their situation. All of them start out overwhelmed and overburdened, and none of them have disposable cash.
Few of them dream or hope, they are in survival mode and subject to the help of other agencies and people in order to sometimes even go to the store. People that have been raised in stable families with regular income and warm homes have minds that can wander and dream more easily as they don't have any obstacles to address first. Maybe their parents got divorced and the kids had to go back and forth and it was stressful. But they didn't live with a bunch of half-siblings, each with a different father because marriage wasn't even a consideration, and have to worry what to do when dad gets out of prison this time. No matter how much back child support is owed, when it isn't paid that's a big fat nothing. "Nothing" won't help pay the cable bill so that will get shut off. Again.
Why not throw some special needs kids into the mix? How can these parents practice the parenting techniques we talk about when their needs are far greater than curbing a snotty attitude or teaching chores? Some of this is hard-wired and can't be cured. Instead these frustrated and overwhelmed parents have to do what it takes to help their kid manage what they've got. Sometimes they even dare to hope their kid would be welcomed back into a standard public school and not have to go to the other one. These parents have to learn how to deal with all of their children without making the special needs rule the house. The siblings see who gets the attention and know why, but deep down they'd like some, too.
Speaking of school - some of these people have kids who won't go to school, or fake it. Only when they get a truancy letter do they find out their teen has been lying about being online for class or just not walking into the classroom. The reason? They didn't feel like it. These kids do not know how to see a future and live moment by moment. Their boredom or their impulse rules. Right now it would be fun to rob a store. Right now it would be cool to drink. Right now that other kid wants sex with them. When the repercussions follow, they are bewildered and unable to handle it.
In that regard, all parents have something in common. If you do "A" and "B" results, you learn "C" and must deal with that. Much easier for a kid to learn that not studying for a test gets a low grade so they should study next time than for a kid to learn that breaking into a store gets an arrest and a felony on their record so the future is now just that much more unwelcoming and complicated.
None of my clients can relate to the normalized life in TV commercials or even the far fetched lives in dramas or sitcoms. There are things like phones, washing machines and some level of routine. People are going through daily dramas and plan events.
Statistics tell us that 49% of Americans depend upon the government for some form of financial assistance. Madison Avenue focuses on the other 51% lucky enough to choose for themselves. When Hollywood does focus on the forty-niners, it's a movie by Spike Lee that just reinforces despair.
Isn't it easier sometimes to understand a different way of life when it's located in a whole other country? But this is the other America, the one no one talks about but politicians selfishly target for votes. Shame on them for keeping these people in perpetual spin. Rather than continue to throw money at this huge problem (and believe me it's a lot harder to receive the funds than you think), why don't we roll our sleeves up and create an entirely new approach that actually helps the forty-niners gain dignity and control over their lives?
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