CONFESSIONS OF A STARBUCKS PASTOR

I dare you to find out if you attached in an optimal manner with your primary caregiver as a wee little ga-ga-goo-goo. Oh no, you might groan. She's gonna "therapize" us because she is so fixated on her grad program! Naw. I just want to share key things that light up my brain as I bumble along. I promise I won't use big words because I don't like them anyway. The big "a-ha" for me this moment is how we connected with our primary caregivers. For sake of brevity, I will refer to that person as a mother simply because in most cultures, that is in fact the case. Did you know that from birth, the way your mother reacts with you forms your personhood? The way you think about yourself? The way you interact with others? How you feel? No wonder the ancient psychologists used to "blame it on the mother". What I didn't know is that there is science behind it, and it's pretty simple. If you were blessed to have someone who oohed and ...

As part of course requirements to obtain a masters in marriage and family therapy in my graduate school program, we have to show how we integrate our faith into what we are learning. Woven into this aspect this semester, we are asked to keep a journal about what we notice. We are practicing not bringing in judgements. Judgements, you say? I am not judging anyone! HA! This will be a piece of cake for me!  I have learned not to celebrate so quickly. It's broader than that. And not only aren't we supposed to judge, we are supposed to remain fully present without inserting our judgment. And no, that doesn't mean to sit on your hands like in the final round on the Pyramid game show. Judgement also relates to our pre-conceived notions that are such a part of us we don't even stop to realize we have them. They are based on our personal experience. When my girl was 2, we were having burgers in a fast food chain. She looked around and gasped, "Mommy!! Those people fo...